


quiero solo mirarte, amor

by scarletred



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Carlos is a photographer, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Maxiel is mentioned blink and you'll miss it, SO MUCH FLUFF, another tag should go here but it's a spoiler, disgustingly in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 15:30:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23236030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarletred/pseuds/scarletred
Summary: Carlos has definitely way too many pictures of Lando. He can't find the one he needs now.
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Comments: 20
Kudos: 106





	quiero solo mirarte, amor

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! Hope you're all good and self-isolation is treating you well. Hang in there!!
> 
> The idea came to me because I've been obsessed with [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbQZcY2mjCc) ever since it came out last week. I also loved the idea of telling a story through little snippets and memories and what better way than pictures?
> 
> The fluff no one asked for but everyone (and by everyone I mean me) needed. It's going to make your stomach ache, I'm telling you.
> 
> Enjoy!

Carlos is sitting on the floor of his flat in London, hundreds, maybe even thousands, of pictures scattered around him. Their bright colours, white borders and shiny surfaces make him smile even without focussing on something specific. He’s looking for a very particular one though, so he better start digging into this beautiful mess of memories.

☀️

Lando is looking straight at the camera, he remembers he was laughing at him for some lame joke that definitely didn’t deserve all that amusement. He’s wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, hiding his eyes that were probably sparkling like they often do. The warm tones of the shot scream _summer_ all over it and the sunburnt skin of his boyfriend testifies how many hours they spent beneath the Spanish sun.

It’s not a perfect picture, Lando’s full-body laughter made it impossible for him to avoid some blurriness. But that’s also why he likes it so much. It’s vibrant, alive, real. It’s the closest thing to a visual representation of that gorgeous sound he will ever get. Recordings of it exist too. There are audio files buried in old WhatsApp folders filled with Lando’s belly laugh. Videos posted on YouTube for birthdays and anniversaries just to embarrass each other. Slivers of happiness preserved forever thanks to the technologic wonder.

But Carlos is a photographer. His brain works in images and palettes and shapes and shadows. He sees things before he feels them. And Lando’s laughter for him is this picture. Blurry, overexposed, brighter than the sun.

🌧️

As he stares at this picture he can still feel how cold and humid that day was. They had decided to go on a little trip just outside the city, but of course it started raining cats and dogs as soon as they left the suburbs. They didn’t have any umbrellas because, like the idiots they are, neither of them had thought of checking the weather forecast beforehand. A wiser couple would have probably turned the car around and returned home. They bought two horrible looking raincoats in a petrol station and decided to continue their silly adventure.

Lando challenged him to a sprint race down the streets of the little town that obviously resulted in soaked through socks and ruined shoes. There wasn’t a puddle he didn’t jump in. (Carlos reminded him of his childish behaviour every single time he sneezed in the following week.)

When they stopped Lando’s unruly curls were matted to his wet forehead and his cheeks were red underneath the sparse lampposts. Carlos made a comment about rain tasting differently in different places so Lando immediately stuck his tongue out to catch some drops as they fell from the sky.

He looks like a kid in the picture. Covered in thin orange plastic, his jeans at least four different shades of drenched, face tilted upwards with his eyes closed shut and the tip of his tongue wiggling out. If they saw this photo without knowing Lando, maybe no one would say that he’s the best thing that ever happened to Carlos. But then again, they wouldn’t know.

👰🏻

Considering the purpose of his current research looking at this picture sends a tingle down to his heart. It’s quite funny if he thinks that this is a photo that Lando accidentally ruined.

He had finally found the perfect shot to portray his family in a loving yet natural way: his sister in the middle, chatting happily with their mum about something, their dad standing beside them, a fond look on his face. Even the colours were perfect. The white of the bridal gown, the red of the bouquet matching their mum’s dress… and then Lando walked into the frame as he was clicking the button. Luckily he didn’t obscure anyone, it actually looks like this is the image he meant to capture. Carlos’s family on one side of the picture and Lando intruding from the other one.

He looked extremely dashing that day. His hair finally free of that awful gel he used to style it with, the deep blue suit clinging to his body without being overwhelming, his tie falling perfectly on his lean torso. A kind smile inhabited his features no matter who he was talking to and his eyes looked so excited and happy for the entirety of the endless ceremony.

A sigh escapes his lips as he realises that it makes perfect sense that Lando slipped into a Sainz family picture. He gently puts it down and keeps shuffling the photos around.

🛏️

_Oh! _He has found one of his favourite pictures he took of Lando! It’s mostly dark, but there’s a stream of light going from the window (behind Carlos, so out of the frame) to Lando’s face. It’s such a familiar sight, but the vulnerability of it makes his heart skip a beat every time.

White sheets are wrapped around his frame, one of his legs sticks out from the wrinkled cotton and he looks like a daydream despite the funny face he’s pulling because of the sun in his eyes. His left arm is outstretched partly in protest at the camera pointed at him partly in a silent request to come back to bed. How could anyone resist?

He climbed on the mattress to lie beside him as soon as the picture was taken. They cuddled for hours until Lando’s stomach growled and they decided they needed to have breakfast.

There’s nothing unique nor special about that moment he captured and that’s the reason why he loves it so much. It’s the essence of a relationship, allowing another person to see you in a way no one else does. If it weren’t for this aspect, he would want this picture printed and framed in every single museum existing on Earth. He’d make billboards with it. Cover the whole world with this single shot of his boyfriend on a random morning of a few years ago. (It’s always lovely when the pride he feels for his own art intertwines with the pride he feels over Lando.)

🎄

Carlos snorts as he picks up the little rectangle of photographic paper. December, last year. Lando is sitting on the floor, in front of his couch. He’s wearing an ugly Christmas sweater that has been washed too many times and somehow he ended up tangled in fairy lights. Instead of helping him Carlos had plugged them into the socket and turned them on. The blue, red and yellow hues flickered and danced around the dark living room and in Lando’s eyes.

He’s pouting in the picture, pretending to be mad at him for enjoying the situation he got stuck in. He had run to grab his camera because he wanted to show him just how good the atmosphere looked. “I don’t give a fuck about _aesthetics_, Carlos!” he had shouted. Carlos retorted something about Lando always asking for advice whenever he wanted to post something on Instagram and their bickering went on for a little while. No actual heat behind their argument, except for the one coming from the fireplace.

In the end Carlos took pity on him and freed him from the messy wires, joking that Lando isn’t tall enough to be their Christmas tree. He earned a half-hearted shove for it, but it was worth the chuckle he got out of his boyfriend.

🍕

A candid photo of Lando eating pizza during a night out with their friends. He probably doesn’t even know Carlos has it.

He was intently listening to Max’s rant about bugs in some new videogame of theirs, a slice of pizza held in his hand as he was happily munching on his food. The poor lightning of the outdoors restaurant created an interesting shadow over Lando’s profile, making him look closer to a young god than a human being. Too bad the tomato sauce staining his lips shattered that illusion.

The visible part of the table is a mess of glasses and bottles, dishes and cutlery, napkins and crumbs. A few water caps are scattered around (and inside) Max’s glass. Daniel’s silly attempts at drawing his boyfriend’s attention. Safe to say the plan backfired because Max started ignoring him more on purpose. (He took a Polaroid of them kissing afterwards, so in the end everyone was happy.)

Carlos realises that it’s been a while since their last hang-out, hopefully there will be cause for celebration soon enough.

🎬

He doesn’t like photo boots so this is likely the only string of pictures he owns in this format. It was the night of one of their first dates and Lando insisted so much he caved. He smiles softly thinking that the dynamic of their relationship hasn’t changed much since then. Lando asks, Carlos says no, Lando asks again, Carlos’s answer is still the same, Lando asks a third time and his willpower just vanishes all of a sudden.

In the first one Lando is laughing at something outside of the frame. Carlos, of course. He was still protesting and refusing to join him in that infernal box. From an objective point of view the photo is terrible: without the curtain fully closed the light and the colours are all wrong.

The second one is slightly better in terms of colours, but the only visible thing are two distinct pair of jeans. Lando’s legs clad in black skinnies and something dark blue next to them. Lando was standing up to allow Carlos inside the booth when the shutter went off.

The third picture is somewhat awkward. Lando was half sitting on his lap because the space was very limited and Carlos didn’t know what to do with his hands. Did he have to hug him? Hold him somehow? Resting a hand on his shoulder seemed weird too. They’re both smiling, but it’s a bit odd and uncomfortable.

The fourth one is actually one of his favourite pictures of them as a couple. He would deny ever saying that if anyone asked him though. His burgundy sweater matches the light tint of his cheeks. There’s a surprised expression on his face that he knows was about to morph into a soft smile. Lando had turned just a moment before the countdown ended to kiss his cheek. When he had asked him about it later on he simply shrugged and said: “I don’t know, I felt like it.” He wanted to kiss him so badly, but he decided to wait a bit longer. (They kissed goodnight as he dropped Lando home, _yes_, like they do in movies.)

📸

There it is! Finally! The picture he was looking for!

He took this photo on some random film he had found by accident and he developed it himself. He loves the retro vibes coming from it, the slightly faded borders, the foggy atmosphere. He also loves it because it’s the first picture he ever took of Lando.

His roommate had dragged him to this party - he doesn’t even remember who organised it - and he found himself being bored to death after said roommate abandoned him to flirt with a girl. So, obviously, he clung to his camera and started wandering around looking for interesting people and things to photograph. At some point he sat on the floor in a room full of people either making out or being deep in conversation. The only one not doing either of those things besides him was this boy sitting on the armrest of the couch in front of him. There was something about him that immediately grabbed his attention. Maybe it was the fact he looked so lonely and out of place, next to a couple that appeared this close to having public sex. Maybe it was the orange sweater being a bit loose on his small frame and giving him sweater paws. He wanted to capture the image of this stranger, lost in his own thoughts despite the loud music, and keep it forever.

🧡

Lando is about to head out for his date with Carlos when there’s a knock on his front door. When he opens it he finds no one is there. He thinks it’s the usual teenage prank until he spots the orange roses on the doormat. Underneath them there’s a little white envelope. Not a prank then. He buries his face into the soft flowers to inhale their perfume and carries everything inside.

After finding the right vase for the roses he opens the envelope. There’s a picture of him. The one Carlos took on the night they met, all those years ago. There’s also a little note. He recognises his boyfriend’s handwriting immediately.

_Meet me where we met again._

The second time they met was at the uni library. What the heck is Carlos doing? Lando has no idea, but he’s definitely way too curious not to follow the instructions. He grabs his coat and keys, the phone is already in his pocket, and leaves the house.

The building is quiet as he arrives, only a few students chatting quietly as they head out or enter the premises for some late night studying. Lando feels too old to be around them, but he knows no one will question his presence here. He walks to the section of the library where they bumped into each other by pure chance, fully expecting to find Carlos there. But he’s not here.

People must think him insane as he keeps pacing up and down the room, checking every table in case he somehow missed his boyfriend. He’s not the kind of guy that would blend in easily, but you never know. He’s this close to having a meltdown or being kicked out for acting like a creep when a girl walks up to him.

“Excuse me, sir, are you Lando?” she says.

What the fuck. What the actual fuck.

He nods.

The twenty-something girl hands him an envelope.

“A Spanish man told me to give this to you” she explains.

“Thanks” he mutters and moves to open the new freaking envelope.

The girl is still standing next to him. Is she waiting for something?

“Do you need something?”

She blushes a bit, looks over to who Lando supposes are her friends and they encourage her to do something. He’s starting to worry.

“That guy, is he your boyfriend?” she asks.

“Yes?”

Oh my God, she’s not trying to hit on either of them, is she?

“This is embarrassing but…” she clears her throat. “He said you’d give me a fiver.”

Lando wants to groan (and murder his boyfriend), but he hands her the money nonetheless.

She rushes back to her table and Lando finds an empty spot a few rows down to sit and open the message.

_I see you have found the right place. Well done!_

_You’re probably wondering what’s going on._

_Go where we shared our first kiss and I’ll explain everything to you._

Carlos, what the fuck?!?

He gets up with a huff as he realises that he has to go back to his flat. This game is starting to get on his nerves and he hopes for everyone’s sake that his boyfriend is actually waiting for him at home.

He calls his name as he steps inside and no one answers. Great. As he shrugs off his coat he notices the light coming from the kitchen slash dining room. He’s pretty sure he turned them all off before heading out earlier…

A candle. There’s a fucking candle on his kitchen table. He can’t believe that Carlos actually lured him out of his flat, made him go all the way down to their former university and then come back home, only to pull this idiotic prank on him. On a date night too. Maybe it’s a good thing he isn’t here, he kind of feels like strangling him at the moment.

Upon closer inspection he notices another white envelope and silently curses his boyfriend once again. Damn the day they watched _Gone Girl_ too. That shit definitely messed with his head. He almost tears the whole thing apart in frustration as he opens it.

_Mi vida,_

_I hope you’re not too mad at me. Everything will make sense very soon, I promise. But I have something to confess first. Do you remember the night we met? The picture I left you should help your memory._

_I was a foreign student who spoke a terrible English and felt terribly lost in a city as big as London. And then one night I stumbled upon you. I didn’t know why, but I couldn’t stop looking at you. I knew I had to take a picture of this gorgeous boy who stood out so much from the crowd around him. Who looked so out of place, but also looked like he belonged there. Years later, I know you were there because we were meant to meet each other. We both were exactly where we were supposed to._

_As you know, I took that picture. Without asking your permission first. Big mistake, I know. You had every right to snap at me. In a harsh tone you asked me what I wanted. I mumbled something you didn’t understand and left. I never told you what I had said that night._

_I’m telling you now: _ _quiero solo mirarte. _ _I just want to look at you._

_Without knowing, it’s a wish you’ve allowed me to fulfil every single day until now. And it’s a wish my heart still harbours. You’ve granted me the privilege of watching you grow and become the amazing person you are. I would be so lucky if I got to keep looking at you as you walk through life. I’d be there to comfort you and support you whenever you need it. To cheer you on and scold you when you’re in the wrong and you’re being too stubborn to admit it. But I also know I could just stare at you for eternity and still be the happiest person in the whole universe. It would be an honour to just sit there and admire you as you exist._

He didn’t hear any noise aside his own choked sobs so he’s a bit startled when a voice calls him.

It’s Carlos, of course. The lovesick idiot is all dressed up and he’s on his knees right in front of him. On his not-exactly-squeaky-clean kitchen floor. He’s holding something that reflects the candlelight.

“Lando, will y-”

“Yes! Yes! A million times yes!” he shouts, interrupting him.

He grabs him and tries to get him up, but Carlos is trying to stay on his knees and that’s how they end up a tangled mess of limbs on the cold tiles.

“_Coño_, Lando! Couldn’t you let me finish?” he complains. “Are you hurt?” he asks then, his voice growing softer.

“Nah, I’m okay. You?”

“Aside being mad at you for ruining the proposal I spent weeks coming up with? Yes, I’m okay.”

Lando sits up and presses a long kiss on his lips, his hands gently cradling his boyfriend’s face.

_Fiancé_ his mind suggests.

They’re engaged.

“Where’s the ring?” he asks.

Carlos has the look of someone who’s already regretting the decision of marrying Lando. Too bad, because he isn’t going to let him run away so easily.

“You’re lucky I love you” Carlos says as he slips the silver band on his finger.

“Yeah, I know” Lando admits, emotion thick in his voice. “I love you too.”

“Are you going to cry?”

“No!” he replies, just as his eyes fill with tears once again.

Carlos shakes his head with fondness, then starts smiling to himself.

“If marrying me seems so awful, you could have just said no, you know?” he teases.

Lando stops sobbing to give him a whack.

“Shut up and kiss me, you moron” he hisses.

Carlos literally throws himself on top of him and they end up lying on the floor once again, his head knocking against the cupboard.

A (chaotic) match made in Heaven, truly.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi again! I don't speak Spanish so Google helped me out as usual:  
\- mi vida: term of endearment, similar to "my love" but more like "my life" I think  
\- coño: swear word, it's supposed to be something along the lines of "fucking hell"
> 
> Let me know what you think :)


End file.
